Love for the 1st time

As I walk into the unknown
I feel I'm on my way home
As I rejoice in the abyss
I find peace in what is

Leaves drop as the fall pores over
Seasons without you seem much colder
I can no longer depent on you
As you've wandered off out of the blue

Chaos meets peace
And fights against it
Despite the effort it doesn't leave
And flourishes in madness

Tears fall from the sky
To meet my face
Where I once felt alive
Is now an empty space

Full of pain and anger
Running around uncontrollably
I should've seen the flag of danger
But I trusted you when held me

I don't regret falling for you
Nor do I regret being honest about my feelings
I do regret having my ego brused
But then again it won't have found a place of healing

Because as the days pass
I remember our story every hour
But differently every day

One minute, 2 minutes I can't keep track
But I will no longer nourish the flower
Or participate in the chase

The chase after hoping you'll call
The chase after a fictive storyline
I've found grace in it all
In losing myself in love for the 1st time